Walking at the edge of the lake, my feet tingling in the cold water, I listen to the woosh of each wave, and feel the sun on my face. Time stands still and I feel lighter, happy taking in the sensations.
During a period of my life when I felt confused, adrift, and just wanted the answer to my life purpose I made a weekly walk down at the lake non-negotiable, and for a time I forgot my worries and enjoyed being alive.
If you struggle to understand what you want, who you are, and what you are meant to be doing, you’re not alone.
It sometimes seems like the world demands that we either ignore our dreams or struggle to survive.
We get so many messages about what is and isn’t possible for us from other people. It causes confusion because as a social being we want to please other people.
Our life purpose Is a balance between serving a collective purpose and satisfying our personal needs and it shifts and changes throughout our life. At every point there are challenges to overcome and success to celebrate.
As a child and young adult our purpose is to learn. Unfortunately, learning about ourselves is often neglected. I remember being encouraged to be creative as a child, and then as a teen got the message to be more practical and pursue activities that would provide a stable job.
It can be confusing!
The next phase is being a householder. If we have children, then our purpose is clear- we must raise these kids and take care of them. It can be very satisfying, and also a time when we are focused outside ourselves more than ever.
Then there’s retirement. Everything depends on how we meet it- with enthusiasm or fear. It can be a time of fulfillment or feel like a loss of purpose.
Anywhere along the way responsibilities can be so demanding that we feel we don’t have time to do anything for ourselves. That can cause unhappiness that starts to pull us apart, and we might try to numb the pain, with habits from alcohol over-use to emotional outbursts.
We’ve been taught to focus outside of ourselves for happiness. We love our job or hate it, our spouse, children, or friends give us happiness or aggravation. The truth is, whoever we’re with, whatever we do, and whatever happens, we can be happy and have purpose.
What we crave beyond all other things is belonging.
When you feel adrift, focus on feeling you belong, that you’re worthy, and that you have the answers inside. You were born belonging and you have a fundamental right to be exactly who you are.
Take time to explore what you loved doing as a child. Ask yourself if changing your attitude could make your work and relationships more fulfilling. You may just find that the people and the job aren’t the problem at all and that you can find satisfaction by carving out me-time as well as serving others.
If big changes are really needed this will prepare you and you’ll have no doubt or confusion and can move forward with certainty.
Try going for a walk in nature and let go of your worries for a time. Do things just for you because finding a balance between caring for yourself and makes you better at your job and in your relationships. Any tweaks you need to make will reveal themselves with attention.
