Gratitude for when bad things happen
Three years ago I got sick with something unknown that had me throwing up non-stop for 2 days, in pain for weeks, and suffering from a nervous collapse. I was scared and dumbfounded by the betrayal of my usually healthy and strong body.
I wasn’t sleeping from the trauma of my experience at the emergency two nights in row, was too exhausted to work, and didn’t care if I worked. I was thinking about what would I do if this was the last year of my life: keep striving in business or be an artist.
What led up the illness? In the previous year, moving house, the death of both parents, and a tremendous effort in my business had me teary eyed most mornings before I even got up. During a time when pacing myself and being extra careful with my health was wise, I ignored the stress I was under emotionally and pushed forward heedlessly.
I believe that my body was telling me that it was time to heal mentally and physically, and even in the midst of this illness, I knew it was a wake-up call. People would ask me how I was and when I told them, they’d say how sorry they were. I’d say no, it’s ok, this is just the latest challenge.
I get ‘messages from the Universe’ in my mailbox from tut.com, and this is what came a few weeks ago-
If you could choose between living two lives, Frances:
1. One that was easy, or
2. One that presented challenges you would overcome
Which would you choose?
I got gradually better and finally had my appendix removed and that proved to be the culprit. I continued to eat less, quit drinking, and went to psychotherapy for a year. I feel so much better!
I have been exploring health and healing for my whole life, and I’ve read accounts of people being thankful for the injuries and illness that they endured, even cancer that was taking their life. I understand that now.
As one wise yoga teacher once told me, ‘You either know you’re suffering in life or you don’t’.
When you’re forced to do the work to heal by catastrophic events, you confront the underlying pain that you’ve been living with since your childhood. Beliefs that often boil down to- ‘it’s me, not them, that’s the problem, I must be unworthy, flawed and useless’.
Yoga has always been foundational for me, it takes strength to face the suffering and beliefs that we carry, there’s no quick fix. I was a wildly angry emotional powder keg as a child, my life has been a steady work in progress to heal generational wounds and it’s not over yet.
If you want to make yoga a part of your healing journey, one that supports both physical and emotional health, there’s no time like the present to add it to your life. Book your ‘Find Your Joy Clarity Session to learn more.